Diary 16
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July 9, 2008

Diary 16/ 27-years-old / New York City
I learn about Giovanni’s ongoing affair by breaking into his email. There’s not really a good-person vs bad-person element… breaking into his email was pretty awful of me; but this definitely set off a whole chain of events that would stay with us for years. And come back hard in 2010 with the cervical pre-cancer. It was also an event that made me realize we’re not predisposed to certain reactions. I kept waiting for the urge to throw his clothes out of the apartment (TV makes it seem fun), but my real experience was one I never could have guessed at. If ever there’s been a time to say “There’s More to the Story…”

July 9, 2008
I pasted the email I’d sent him into the book, and then wrote something about it all.

Faces
I *did* consider writing “liar” over this portrait I’d completed but days prior. I couldn’t do it–but I did think my expression took on new meaning.

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Diary 16
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May 31, 2007

Diary 16 / 25-years-old / Rome, Italy
Chronology again..what?! After the meltdown of May 26, I get to Rome and find solace in Palmiro: the Boxing Black Kitten of Doom. Italy is no easier than expected, but I have a better understanding of why.

May 31, 2007
May 31, 2007

palmiro
don’t be fooled…he’s Roman, and he will cut a bitch.

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Diary 16
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May 26, 2007

Diary 16 / 25-years-old / NYC
The night before a trip to Rome and Israel, I break down and tell Giovanni I no longer want to be alive. After our phone call, I reach for a video camera and try speaking through the pain. Trigger Warning: there is raw footage from that evening at the end of this entry. By the time I finish speaking into the camera, I had relaxed; and by the time I sit down to write the diary entry, I had turned the corner.
I strive for honesty in this project, and I include things this visceral to show how we can all get stronger by sharing. That being said, you can watch the diary read and turn the video off before the older footage, and still get the full story.
Be strong.

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Additionally:
@CrisisTextLine
@800273TALK

May 26 2007
Preamble and Pledge–it seemed fitting to be the start of a new book.
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