Diary 17
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November 29, 2009

Diary 17 / 28-years-old / NYC
“I’ll take my first pill tomorrow. And I feel a bit like I’m tying my hope to a shape-shifting cloud, but I suppose sometimes the intangible is the closest to grounding available.”

The discussion around mental health has come a long way, and likely has a long way to go. Taking an antidepressant terrified me–and through years of chronic depression I tried most everything else. But the stress of my health became too much for Giovanni to bear, and he began accusing me of using depression as a way to not take care of myself, or of us. One should never have to encounter the threat of losing the support of a Most Important Person, but in my case it was the threat that made me take action. It seemed like a last-ditch effort, and probably was. But the year I spent taking a silly pill absolutely saved my life. Share this with anyone–on either side of the relationship–going through the same thing. Throwback Diary is for *these stories* more than anything. As the conversation continues to become more nuanced, I hope fewer and few people feel abandonment along their path.

November 29, 2009
November 29, 2009

It was still a really hard decision, even as I agreed to begin. I used photography a lot during that year.


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