Diary 16
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May 31, 2007

Diary 16 / 25-years-old / Rome, Italy
Chronology again..what?! After the meltdown of May 26, I get to Rome and find solace in Palmiro: the Boxing Black Kitten of Doom. Italy is no easier than expected, but I have a better understanding of why.

May 31, 2007
May 31, 2007

palmiro
don’t be fooled…he’s Roman, and he will cut a bitch.

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Diary 16
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May 26, 2007

Diary 16 / 25-years-old / NYC
The night before a trip to Rome and Israel, I break down and tell Giovanni I no longer want to be alive. After our phone call, I reach for a video camera and try speaking through the pain. Trigger Warning: there is raw footage from that evening at the end of this entry. By the time I finish speaking into the camera, I had relaxed; and by the time I sit down to write the diary entry, I had turned the corner.
I strive for honesty in this project, and I include things this visceral to show how we can all get stronger by sharing. That being said, you can watch the diary read and turn the video off before the older footage, and still get the full story.
Be strong.

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Additionally:
@CrisisTextLine
@800273TALK

May 26 2007
Preamble and Pledge–it seemed fitting to be the start of a new book.
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Diary 7
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May 17, 1999

Diary 7 / 17-years-old / Reading, Ohio
In the last few weeks of my senior year of high school, I awake one morning to a large sign, with derogatory slang, staked into my front lawn. I’m the valedictorian, and just want to give my speech at graduation, and get out of town. My parents, on the other hand, want to take legal action. In return, I write a lot of swear words.
Also, graduating in 1999 meant a whole lot of Prince. Much affection for that man.

May 17, 1999 pg1
May 17, 1999 pg1
May 17, 1999 pg2
May 17, 1999 pg2
Elsa
My cat, Elsa
graduation
I graduated!
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Diary 13
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May 11, 2006

Diary 13 / 24-years-old / Rome, Italy
Chronological storytelling on Throwback Diary, what?? Sometimes this backwards stuff is just weird. Exactly 10 years ago, I talk to someone about keeping a diary, and how: No–it isn’t lonely knowing that no one will ever see them. And that maybe if I figure out how to share them, I’ll know what kind of artist I want to be… Turns out I invented Throwback Diary a decade ago! This was a delight to stumble upon.

May 11, 2006 pg1
May 11, 2006 pg1 on the right
May 11, 2006 pg2
May 11, 2006 pg2 on the left
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Diary 13
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May 5, 2006

Diary 13 / 24-years-old / Rome, Italy
I’ve already shared an entry where Leonard Cohen makes everything better; this time it ‘s James Taylor…
Giovanni and I have decided to make a go of things, and I’m in Rome. I get cast in another film, and end up staying for 5 months. Now it’s the end of my stay–Giovanni spends his days at work, and I’m spending my days locked up into his bedroom in the apartment he shares with several other men. Dealing with some anxiety that’s not really letting me explore the city. Then I take myself to a park.
PS: this diary is particularly awesome, for having been mailed back and forth and shared with a friend. He tended to fill his pages with recipes.

May 5, 2006 pg1
May 5, 2006 pg1
May 5, 2006 pg2
May 5, 2006 pg2
Life in Rome

I was just trying to learn video editing, so I shot what I could. Here I am in Giovanni’s room writing in the actual diary I read from this week.

And the park, and the dog.

aqueduct park
aqueduct park + the dog I watched frolic

And I won’t leave you wondering; here’s the song:

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