Diary 17
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February 12, 2010

Diary 17 / 28-years-old / NYC
Entries like this are why this project exists: this is my honest, uncensored, and “inappropriate” (or so I feared at the time) response to cervical cancer. You’ll hear it again in the video—but we *do not* know how we’re going to respond when the Big Life Moments hit. Shit gets scary—and what I hope I’m sharing through this entry, is that it’s never, ever inappropriate to go through your motions. Recognizing your given circumstances is important (in my case: depression.) Hindsight is important. But the road to recognition and hindsight can be long and seemingly treacherous. Sometimes you’re strong enough to barrel through on your own; sometimes you aren’t. Don’t be embarrassed, share your story, and get the support you need. Share this with people who are afraid they’re not coping “correctly.” There’s no such thing. There’s always more to the story.

2010 was the year I took my first photography class, and began to put words and imagery together. This self-portrait became one of my ways of expressing the experience.

my body's potential
“I feel people’s eyes on me, and wonder if they sense my shortcut into womanhood. My body’s potential realized, and threatened, in the course of an afternoon.”
February 12, 2010 pg1
February 12, 2010 pg1
February 12, 2010 pg2
February 12, 2010 pg2
February 12, 2010 pg3
February 12, 2010 pg3

My experience with the NYU Langone Cancer Center ultimately lasted five years. There were many more hard appointments to come after the surgery, but I cannot speak highly enough of the kindness I experienced there. If you need any first-hand information, contact me by commenting. They have great resources, too: http://nyulangone.org/locations/perlmutter-cancer-center/health-education-resource-center

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