Diary 14 / 24-years-old / Rome, Italy
When I was twenty-four I was flown to Rome to be in a movie with Vincent Gallo and Ernest Borgnine. Craziness ensued, including falling in love with the first Giovanni I met. At the point of this entry, after a couple months back in New York, I’m returning to Rome to make a go of a long-distance relationship. And then my mom visits…
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Diary 1 / 13-years-old / Reading, Ohio.
I go on my first date. My first date ev-er. Spoiler: he holds my hand! And I apologize to Billy Joel (albeit twenty years too late.)
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Me a *touch* younger than the entry. Permed bangs for the win!
Diary 20 / 32-years-old / New York City
An on-again off-again relationship has just gone completely off during a trip to Hawaii. We’re still spending time together, but the stakes are too high, and end in a rough night at a bar. Somehow I often have really lousy February 11ths, and I mention the event is happening on an 11th. The entry ends in indecipherable scribbles and drawings. (See below.) On a side note, this is the most recent entry I’ve published. There’s an emotionality that comes through, because something about it is still unsettled and affecting. I think it’s the mention of Giovanni—and how even though our relationship “failed” some years back—he’s always strong and close. Something the man in this entry couldn’t offer.
*and sorry for the bad sound. Rough-goings in learning to be a one-woman production crew! But this is as bad as it gets, promise!*
I think that night was the impetus for Wall Words. I came home from the bar, and wrote this. It was the only way to yell.
Diary 17 / 28-years-old / NYC
Entries like this are why this project exists: this is my honest, uncensored, and “inappropriate” (or so I feared at the time) response to cervical cancer. You’ll hear it again in the video—but we *do not* know how we’re going to respond when the Big Life Moments hit. Shit gets scary—and what I hope I’m sharing through this entry, is that it’s never, ever inappropriate to go through your motions. Recognizing your given circumstances is important (in my case: depression.) Hindsight is important. But the road to recognition and hindsight can be long and seemingly treacherous. Sometimes you’re strong enough to barrel through on your own; sometimes you aren’t. Don’t be embarrassed, share your story, and get the support you need. Share this with people who are afraid they’re not coping “correctly.” There’s no such thing. There’s always more to the story.
2010 was the year I took my first photography class, and began to put words and imagery together. This self-portrait became one of my ways of expressing the experience.
Diary 10 / 21-years-old / Duke University: Durham, North Carolina
It’s my senior year of college, and I’m traveling to NY for grad school auditions. The city, and my friends who already live there, are pure magic. When I get back to Duke, I’m ready to be in the arms of a boy I’m seeing–the first time I’ve ever really dated anyone.