Diary 19 / 30-years-old / New York City
Giovanni works in the film industry, and has to take what jobs are offered. His jobs are becoming longer and more consuming… lately an entire year at at time. For the past two years, I’ve had to fly to Budapest to spend any real time with him; and “real time” is now only one or two weeks every 4 months. His working so much has allowed the lifestyle where I can be a freelancer, and we can still afford the long-distance travel. But it has also required me to leave whatever momentum I start to create in New York whenever it’s time to see each other. I have to be the flexible one. At the time of this entry, the Budapest job has finally ended and he’s planning to live in New York for two months. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time, when I learn he may be be taking a job in Spain, instead.
I’ve started taking several classes to help keep a focus on my daily life, and one of those classes is Argentine tango. I find it not uncommon for students of the dance to be re-rembering what it’s like to hold someone close.
Diary 11 / 23-years-old / New York City
It’s a little strange to think back to my first years in New York. Being a young-20s female in this city is a singular experience. Maybe it’s no different than any other city, but the Concrete Jungle had never felt more aptly named. There’s the feeling of providence–being young and vibrant, and nothing but potential (and in my case–pursuing acting and modeling–the dream that life would be Magical and Easy); and the reality of a certain powerlessness–not knowing the game, the players, or the community to which you may ultimately belong. I wouldn’t do it again, that’s for sure; but looking back, the things a young woman encounters in this period, and the ways in which she survives, could write tomes. I wouldn’t be surprised if the male experience is the same.
Diary 18 / 29-years-old / New York City
I’m in a long-distance relationship with an Italian man I met while making a movie. Giovanni and I have spent the past five years going between Rome and NYC to visit one another. The visits are usually several months apart, and this is a particularly rough time. I reference Joyce, my therapist (who I more fondly referred to as my “theralady”), a really phenomenal documentary called “The Protagonist,” and an email I sent to Giovanni (below.) This is a good time to say, yes: he knows about this project and fully supports it.
Diary 1 / 12-years-old / Reading, Ohio
This is my first-ever diary! It was a present from my grandmother, and I very much remember the decision to begin writing in it every day (evidenced in the New Years Resolutions in the December 31 post below.) I guess this started it all… Below are some notes found within the pages of this entry. FYI: I had been watching a VHI documentary on Madonna.